We are currently living in what I call the Never Enough Story, a cultural myth characterized by ideas of separation, unworthiness, and scarcity. It is a culture that indoctrinates each and every one of us to the idea that we are separate, on our own, and there is never enough to go around.
This week the world saw – via that new, visual means of wildfire gossip-mongering known as “trending on social media” – Lil’ Kim’s new face and hair. For anyone who doesn’t know Lil Kim, she isn’t a teenage Instagram model – born Kimberley Jones in 1974, she’s one of the most successful female rappers the world has ever seen.
Many people still operate with an inner belief that if they try harder to be better — the best, perfect — then everything will be so much better in all areas of their lives. So they take a vow: “I have to be perfect and will be critical of myself until I am.”
For the majority of people if they turned on a radio and the station was negative and critical, fearful, whining, or complaining they would turn it off. Most people would take control of the situation and choose something that would be more enjoyable and more productive. You may wish to take some time to tune in and really become aware of the background station that you are tuned into...
In my daily work as a therapist/coach I've discovered there is one thing that we all have in common. We are all, everyone including me, so amazingly unkind and hard on ourselves. The truth is, I have never met anyone who is not super critical of themselves and who doesn't have unrealistic expectations when it comes to being a so-called "perfect" human being.
Purplewashing is a term I have coined to describe the tendency people have to gloss over, repress, or deny uncomfortable emotions, usually by “spiritualizing” the situation or by “being nice” about it. I call it purplewashing because it is similar to...
As a species, humans love control. We want to control our environment, physical and emotional safety, financial security, and self-image. Yet this same passion for control gets us into trouble as individuals and as a species. If we do not exercise wisdom, control can easily become addiction, tyranny, and repression. We find ourselves rebelling against...
Self-care includes a healthy dose of humor. If you’re not laughing every day, it’s time to start. Laughter creates powerful chemicals in the brain that act quickly to reduce stress and tension and lower blood pressure...
Our concepts of ideal and perfect are always changing. The evaluations and judgments we make unconsciously in every second of our lives that jump-start our emotions and bring us much anxiety and stress....
“Live in the moment!” bumper stickers cry. “Live in the now!” self-help books declare. Movies like The Bucket List preach the importance of living life in all its fullness before your time on earth is up. And yet, “being in the now” is easier said than done, right?
Be yourself. Just be yourself. Well, maybe this is not so easy. Does the thought of being yourself, speaking your truth, and expressing your passion stir feelings of confusion or frustration? Does it bring up fear or anger? Were there times in your life when...
Self-criticism takes the form of blaming yourself (It’s all my fault), labeling yourself (I can’t believe how stupid I am), hating yourself (I can’t stand myself at times), doubting yourself... What is self-criticism good for?
There is a nearly universal form of perfectionism hard-wired into human nature. It is the belief that we are “falling short” of what we should be. It is the habit of feeling somewhat disappointed in ourselves. Here's how we can move past this...
Ideally, we all want to be in a constant state of total unconditional acceptance. However, in your zeal to become 'unconditional' have you overlooked yourself? Have you been able to stop judging and accept the inconsistencies that occasionally cause you to fall short of the mark?
September 2026 begins at a powerful turning point as eclipse season winds down and...
Letting go of the past doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means releasing the...
How much of yesterday are you still carrying today?
In a world of swipes, matches, texts and disappearing conversations, sometimes the most...
Some temptations don't announce themselves as trouble. They arrive softly, offering...
What if the rules women grew up with were never really rules at all? The Invisible Cage...
What does freedom mean when the nearest emergency room is forty miles away? “Forty Miles...
Fears about the future often stem from past experiences, leading to...
A strong relationship thrives on unconditional surrender, trust, and a commitment to...
Why do we keep doing things we know aren't good for us? The answer may have less to do...
You already know you're tired. You've known it since you hit snooze for the third time...
The concept of hell has evolved significantly from ancient Greek and Roman literature to...